Saturday, July 17, 2010

"Ma'am, can I see your ID? . . . Oh, come now, you must be joking"

Let me start by saying that if you've ever been embarassed to show someone your driver's license photo, then this post will make you think "Alright, at least mine isn't that bad."

If you're a fan of the blog on Facebook, you would have seen that a few weeks ago I said "Spent the morning getting Maya a non-driver ID at the DMV. Imagine trying to get a DMV picture of a 2 year old---not pretty. And probably literally not pretty, either (we'll see when the ID arrives)."

Well folks, without further ado I present to you . . .  Maya's (non-driver) license:

This is the awesomest ID of all time, for the following reasons:

1.  The picture is spec.tac.u.lar.  It kind of looks like she is recoiling at the sight of the DMV employees.  "No!  Get back!  Stay away from me, you unhelpful DMV people!  I am obviously too cute for this place and I've got to get out of here!"  (The poor kid was being held up by Dave--that's his hand in the lower left corner---legs dangling, suspended in space.  She clearly had no idea what was happening, and this was photo attempt #3.  That's right, it took 3 tries to get a picture as good as this one.)

2.  Please notice the gigantic, bold, red "UNDER 21" next to her picture.  The next time I get carded buying beer at the grocery store (that happens all the time, since I obviously look so young) I'm totally using this ID.  I would love to watch the chaos that unfolds as the 16 year old cashier tries to wrap her head around the situation.  (Seriously, if there is anyone selling alcohol or cigarettes, or monitoring admission into bars and casinos, who might think that the girl in that picture could possibly be 21, their responsibilities should be immediately revoked.)

3.  I had to write "Not able to sign" where her signature should be.  I really really wanted to give her a fat toddler crayon and have her scribble, but the DMV lady didn't look like she had a sense of humor.  And I think that if you mess with them, they "lose" your paperwork real quick.

4.  This ID is good until she is 7.  7!  I really feel for her if we're going through airport security when she's, say, 6 years old, and has to show this ID to security.  

Just an added bonus here, but when I uploaded this picture and showed Dave we had an extra laugh when we realized that my painter's tape (used to cover sensitive info) has left the phrase "Ass ID" at the top.  (Totally an unplanned accident!)  Yeah, that seems about right.

(PS: If you haven't already, check out the Facebook page!  You don't even have to be on Facebook---you can still view the page (with extra pictures and stories).  If you're a member of Facebook, go ahead and click like.  You know you want to.)


Sara Sedey said...

This is hysterical!

Coleen said...

great picture! i laughed my ass off reading your comments!!

Dana said...

Thanks ladies---glad that you enjoyed it. It's just so fantastic---I think I'll have to put it in a shadowbox to hang on her wall or something :)

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OMG-- this is hysterical--I totally had a visual of you using Maya's ID to purchase a bottle of Merlot... I literally laughed out loud at work-- thank God no one heard me!!!

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