Maya is self-directed (and not in a Woody Allen way)

Last week I found myself sitting in the principal's office.  Of Maya's school.  Because she's acting naughty.

(sigh)

Well, not naughty exactly.  Manipulative. Stubborn. Flightly. Indifferent.  (Those are all my words.)  In preschool language, she is what you would call self-directed, which kind of sounds like a nice thing.  She knows what she would like to do, and will go do it.  Issues arise, however, when her plan doesn't line up with her class's plan.  They're supposed to walk down the hall and she doesn't want to?  Well, maybe she'll just have a seat in the hallway.  She's supposed to practice climbing stairs in physical therapy, and that's not her idea of a good time?  Perhaps she'll just go all limp-noodle on the poor therapist.  She has to take sips from a cup before getting her water bottle?  Well, that's fine, she just won't drink at all, then.

I mentioned these issues last week (after speaking with her teacher) but I was kind of startled by the chat with the principal.  I mean, it's the principal, you know? 

I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this, as I have a killer stubborn streak.  I was always very compliant and pleasant at school, though, and while Maya has a handle on pleasant, the compliance isn't following along.

Interestingly, through the conversations with the teacher, therapists, and principal, I realized that Maya is more obedient at home than she is at school.  I have some theories as to why this is: there are less distractions at home, for one.  Secondly, she only deals with two adults at home, and our expectations have been clear for years.  At school there are many adults (regular teacher, music teacher, 4 therapists, 5 one-on-ones that rotate, depending on the day, the administration, etc). Maya is sly-if one person handles her slightly differently than the others, she will keep wiggling and pushing and looking for ways to get around rules.  Add to all of this the fact that she's cutting a molar and her sleep hasn't been great since the big girl bed switch, and we've got a smorsgabord of possible causes for her recent increase in semi-defiant behavior.

But that doesn't make it ok.

So we're taking some steps.  And, in case anyone else out there is in need of some pro-compliance activities (it can't just be us, right?) here's what we've got going on:

1. For the cup drinking (or, really, and targeted skill that your child is fighting):  I dug into the blog archives (they can be handy) and re-discovered this chart.  Maya's teacher modified it for drinking from the cup (the pictures are now drinking instead of eating, and the star is the same).  She has to take a certain number of sips from the cup before she gets the star--in this case, the water bottle.  It's working well.

2. For general lolligagging:  We got the Time Timer.  She doesn't fully understand it yet, but I can see a million uses for it.  For example, when she is refusing to take off her coat I can just set it for three minutes.  If her coat isn't off before it beeps, then I'll do something.  What?  Um . . .  I'm not sure yet.  Maybe put her bag of stickers in time out.  She loves her stickers.

3. For combatting total self-directed-ness: I'm going to be choosing some of our activities each afternoon.  The timer is going to help me out by showing her that there is a limit to my activity choice, but we will do the full time before we move on.   My choices will be functional---OT and/or academic in nature.  We're referring to my time as "Learning Time."

Learning Time started today.  Over the weekend we had a session with an OT that I love (wish we could just have her come by a few times a week, but we don't have the funds).  Luckily, she loves us too, and we did a session in which she primarily trained me on a pre-writing program that I can do at home.  We did 4 minutes today (which she thought would be an appropriate jumping off point, attention-span wise).  When she got distracted (only twice) I paused the timer, and when we were done I felt super accomplished--and Maya was proud, too :)

If you're thinking that you don't have a pre-writing program to try, don't worry.  I emailed the teacher explaining my Learning Time plan and she was all for it.  I asked her to keep an eye out for skills that I would be able to help reinforce at home and she's already sent me one idea.  Between your child's therapists, teacher(s), and Pinterest*, there are a million fun projects to do.

There are probably people who think "Eesh---therapy and academic stuff should be left for the therapists and teachers."  I just don't feel like that's the case for us.  I came away from today really enjoying the (tiny) session we had, working on a goal together, and Maya really liked it, too.  And since we can't afford unlimited therapy, and I feel like I'm smart and capable, I'm glad to jump in and fill some of those gaps.

If you've got any other tips or tricks, feel free to share them in the comments . . .


*FYI, I've heard that Pinterest is full of ideas.  I still haven't figured out Pinterest.
 

Necessity is the mother of invention (possible solution for iPad accidental hits)

It's been a few months now since we started using Speak for Yourself on the iPad for communication.  Maya loves it, and will nod vigorously if you ask her if she needs "the talker."  There's only one flaw to the app (and it's not just limited to this app)---accidental button pushes.  Often Maya will be reaching to touch something with her index finger, but her palm and other fingers foil her plan by bumping into the screen and hitting other buttons.  She accidentally says words, moves through screens, and closes apps that she wasn't intending to. 

Here's a visual:

See?  My intention is to touch the green button, but my hand is bumping the screen at 3 other points, accidentally pushing things.

It's been holding her back.  She often seems to not understand how she ends up on a screen and will then just pick her favorite word to say out of the choices in front of her.  When left on her own she ends up saying things that sound like this: milk-princess-animal-Daddy-Daddy-alligator-purple-milk-cereal bar-orange.  She has a great time, but it's not as purposeful as it could be.

I've tried different things to help her with accuracy.*  Sometimes I put a finger under her wrist to hold it off the screen . . . but this doesn't work well because she gets angry that I'm interfering with her communication, and she grabs my hand and pushes it away defiantly.  I've tried holding on to her index finger to help her reach the button she's aiming for and tap it . . . but in a heartbreaking twist she's starting doing her own hand-over-hand---using her right hand to try to steady her left index finger and tap the screen.  Focused and adorable, yet somehow sad that she's trying so, so hard, and knows that she can't trust one hand on its own.

A few nights ago I had an idea, and today I finally tried it out.  It worked.  But I think it could be improved upon.  (Also, it's entirely possible--probably, even--- that other people are doing this.  I'm not claiming to have invented this idea, but I haven't seen it mentioned so I thought I'd share.)

Here's what you need: 

-a pair of gloves that fits your kid

-a pair of scissors.

Step One: Cut the index finger off of the gloves.

Ta-da!

She's not thumbless.  Her thumb is buddied up in the index finger slot.

The gloves won't activate the screen.  Adults in cold climates are all too familiar with this, as you can't use your touchscreen phone with gloves unless you have special gloves.  So the only part of her hand that can now effectiely touch a button is her index finger. 

 The three fingers that are currently on the screen can't hit any buttons.

Using her pointer finger to hit a button.

This is the best picture, because her knuckles and the heel of her hand are actually resting on the iPad, but not activating any buttons!  She's able to take the time to line up her index finger and hit the button that she is intending to. Success!

Pros:

1. It works.  (Only one pro, but it's the biggest one ever.)

Cons:

1. She has to keep it on.  She managed to for a while tonight, but then wanted to take it on and off. 

2. She has to not eat it.  She likes to chew on stuff, and I can see the glove becoming a target.

3. We will need several pairs.  These are going to get dirty and I'll need back-up pairs.

4. The material isn't ideal-it's thick and bulky.

If I could design the ideal glove, here's what it would be like:**

1. Thin, stretchy fabric: something like nylon?  It would be lighter, more smooth, and less fun to chew.

2. Index finger missing or reinforced with conductive thread (which works on touchscreens). (I think fingerless is easier for her at this stage, though.)

3. Toddler and child sizes available

Eventually, you would want to cut the thumb out too, for apps that involves stretching or pinching things (you know, that motion with the thumb and index finger)---but right now Maya needs to have as little activating surface area as possible showing.

It's not a perfect solution, but it's a start.

*The creators of SfY are working on a keyguard that will help to address the issue of accidental button hits, but I'm trying to come up with something in the meantime.

**If you have any ideas on how I can make better gloves at home, let me know.  I don't sew.  This is foreign to me.

 

Cookie decorating---fun for everyone, and you can sneak in some OT, too

I have some things to talk about--namely the plight of our assistive technology quest--but that will have to wait until after Christmas.  Right now we're all-holiday-fun-all-the-time, trying to fit in fun crafts or activities.  Here are some pictures from cookie decorating, done last weekend.


Cookie Decorating
I made sugar cookies and bought a big gingerbread man (at Trader Joe's for $2) for us to decorate.  Whipped up a simple buttercream frosting (3c powdered sugar, 2 sticks of butter, 1tbl vanilla, a few tbl of milk) and added some different food colorings for fun.  Maya had a great time playing with all of it, though the adults did a lot of the decorating.

Managing to sneak a little fine motor work into our decorating

Maya decides that she wants to use the blue icing.  About 10 seconds after this picture she came to the conclusion that the knife was too difficult to use, and dove in with her hand.

Grandma, there's icing on my hand!

And then she rolled the frosted hand in sprinkles.  It looks delicious.

Computers & Camels

The title means that I'm going to tell you about 2 things: 1. Computers.  2.  Camels.  Separately, not together.  I'm doubtful that camels and computers are a good combo.  (Although, my college mascot was a camel, so I guess right now I actually am a camel with a computer . . . but I digress.)

First of all, this post is being brought to you from my fancy new home workstation.  I set up a desk space with a monitor, keyboard and mouse---allowing me to turn my laptop into a desktop.  Why?  2 reasons.  First of all, for Maya.  I want her to start touching a keyboard and mouse, but I certainly don't trust her with my (breakable) laptop.  The external keyboard is a much better idea, and the big monitor screen lets her easily see what's happening.  2.  With my sudden influx of free time, I feel like it's time to put my money where my mouth is and see if I can really become a better writer.  I've started taking a writing class, and I wanted a "work place", as opposed to on the couch/at the dining room table with the laptop. 

So, win-win.

Here's the set-up:

We got these great keyboard stickers to make the letters easier for Maya to see (she doesn't have any vision issues, but it just makes sense to me to make the keys big while I'm trying to introduce them to her).  They peel off easily, too . . .don't ask me how I know that.  It's not like I put 2 of them in the wrong places or anything.

Keyboard before the stickers:

Keyboard after the stickers:

I only put on some of the stickers---letters, numbers, arrows, and enter.  I saved the extra ones, but they didn't seem necessary for her.

They work great for her---she noticed all of the letters right away.  I'm still getting used to the fact that the keyboard seems to be yelling at me.

On another note, we went to the Bronx Zoo this morning and Maya went on her first camel ride!  Here's a video:

*one label got cut---it was supposed to say "This glance over my shoulder was to tell Dave 'she loves it!'"

A good time for everyone!

Well, almost everyone.

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